Trading Space For Time

Cyclone of Slack: PDX SubGenius Devival

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 05:14:35 GMT

10/10/09 at the Ash Street Saloon!

* See the psychedelic sights not meant for mere Normals!
* Hear the hindbrain-boggling ranting of SubGenius Doktors directly channeling the Elder Gods!
* Smell the third-nostril opening aromas of full-bore Yetis in heat!
* Feel the tidal wave of the TRUE SLACK that we were all meant to experience

when the CYCLONE OF SLACK hits Portland!

Featuring:

REV. IVAN STANG!
DR. HOWLAND OWL!
PHILO DRUMMOND!
PRINCESS WEI R. DOE!
REV. DR. ONAN CANOBITE!
THE DUKE OF UKE!
REV. CRAWFORD!

With the Musical Stylings of:

POWER CIRCUS!
NEQUAQUAM VACUUM!
CULT OF ZIR!

Get tickets online at Brown Paper Tickets!

to all the obama haters

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 22:15:03 GMT

To All The Obama Haters...
www.dysnomia.us/2008/11/to-all-the-obama-haters

You're wasting the opportunity of a lifetime.

No, I haven't swallowed the hope pill. I have no illusions about the Obama administration, the Democratic party or electoral politics. But whatever pill *you've* swallowed must have been awfully bitter, because it's sure left you with an ugly look on your face.

I'll agree from the start, Obama won't deliver the change we want. He's an establishment candidate who's risen up within the ranks of the machine. It's not enough that he's better than the alternative- the hope he's sold millions will sooner or later be dashed.

But wait. Look at that last sentence. Maybe you've missed the crucial word: millions.

The essence of political change is mobilization, and Americans are mobilized now like they haven't been for a generation. Right now, thanks to Obama, they're fired up. They feel involved, like they have a personal stake in the process. They want change, and they're willing to pitch in to make it happen.

Do you believe change comes from above, or from below? If it comes from above, if we're all just pawns of the ruling elites, then by all means, sit in your armchair and gripe. If Obama can't rescue us, then there must be no point, right?

But if change comes from below, if you think that the actions of "ordinary" people matter, then your place right now is among the hopeful and the idealistic. Stop scorning them for having stars in their eyes, and start organizing.

There are countless people out there right now who want to do their part. Will you tell them that they're fools and they should go back to sleep? Or will you join them, teach them their own power and guide them into standing on their own?

Their time of disappointment will come. Their hero will certainly fail them, and if he doesn't himself, the system he represents will. When that happens, the hopeful can go two ways. The first choice is to sink back into apathy or despair.

The second choice, however, is to keep on fighting, and that's where you come in. If the hopefuls rely solely on the institutions of liberal reform, then there's nowhere for them to go. But if they have access to good radical thinking, from people they trust through working together, then there's a path forward for them. And that path starts to veer in the direction of real change.

We like to say that we act not out of hate, but out of love. I've been having a hard time seeing it lately, though. Too many people right now can do nothing but criticize. We are old and bitter. We attack the very people who should be our future base.

But look at them, the hopeful millions. They want something better from our country. Their eyes shine with enthusiasm when they say "Yes we can." If these people aren't our future, then we probably don't have one.

So pick an issue and get to work. Choose something that you believe in, but also something that meets people where they're at. Don't regard the people you work with as dupes or saps. Remember back to when you first became politically aware- you probably didn't build your cynical shell overnight. Remember what it felt like when you thought you could change the world. You still think you can? Then that's the first thing you all have in common. I'm sure you'll find more.

It's been forty years since there's been such a movement of optimism and hope in America. We can wall ourselves into our activist ghetto and become more old-fashioned every day, or we can rejoin the world and starting tearing down walls instead of building new ones.

Hunter S. Thompson said that the high water mark for America was 1968. The tide's gone a long way out since then, but now it's coming back in. There's no telling how high the water will rise this time, but I'm betting it'll climb higher with us than without.

si se puede

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 04:35:03 GMT

It's been a long time since I've done any political writing. I'm a little rusty, so I distract myself with a tangent.

You surely know about Cesar Chavez, right? People talk about him now and then. But how much credit do they give Dolores Huerta?

Every time you hear someone say "Yes we can," what they really mean is "Si se puede." And it's those two you have to thank for that.

the psychogeography of everyday life, or some crap like that

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 03:30:19 GMT

The Mighty 6: Observations about TriMet bus line 6--Northeast Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. to downtown Portland--and other routes.

(I guess I need some new icons. The entire relevance of this one is that it's my bus pass.)

oh hai

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 23:35:32 GMT

I'm back. Did you miss me?

I'll post a big update on the life of Brainwash pretty soon. In the meantime, the key thing to know is my new website:

dysnomia.us

Also, i has beard. People walk by me on the street without recognizing me, even the ones who know me.

If anything totally crucial has happened in your life in the last year that I just have to know about, let me know. If not, you should still say hi so I know you're out there.

OK, see ya.

the blessings of st gulik

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 01:16:10 GMT

THE PROPITIATION OF ST GULIK
Upon Commencement Of A Journey
being a lesser rite of the June 20-26 Collective

The driver* intones the blessing* of St. Gulik:

O blessed St Gulik, beloved of hitchhikers, protector of dumpster divers and others of much ilk, ride shotgun with me. May the highway patrol be distracted by shiny objects. May the axe murderers give me a smile and a nod and let me go on my way. May the sun shine on my road, except when it rains. May the beers be cold and my fellow travelers beautiful. May the rental car* be blessed and brought into your fold. And if you don't listen to prayer, then to hell with you.

The driver takes a sip of coffee*, and intones the mystical phrase, "gabba gabba." The cup is passed around the passengers, who repeat the driver's actions and words.

The driver next takes a nibble of a snack*, intones "gabba gabba", and likewise passes the snack around.

When all have partaken, the driver breaks off a piece of the snack and places it underneath a tire in such a manner that it will be run over when the car begins to roll. This is followed by a splash of coffee, also beneath the tire, and the driver completes the incantation:

Gabba gabba
We accept you
We accept you
One of us

The driver finishes the coffee and snack, sharing with the passengers as desired. Then the driver says "Let's go."*
______
______

driver: or his designee, although the National League of Dynamic Discord refuses to accept the designated driver rule.
intones the blessing: Back in the day, it was traditional to give the entire blessing. In modern times, however, the practice has arisen of posting the blessing to the internets and incorporating it by reference; e.g., "O blessed St. Gulik, etc."
may this rental car: In cases where the vehicle is not a rental, or in fact not a car, the driver may substitute "may this vehicle".
coffee: or tea, or energy drink, or fizzy sugar-water.
snack: Cookies and chocolate are most traditional, but let's face it: Gulik is a cockroach. He'll eat anything. The Venerable Red Vines of Kallisticon have been used to great effect, but they are few and hard to come by.
Let's go: or something equally clever.
______
______

NOTE: Among the other blessings for a traveler are: sharing food or other needful items with fellow travelers; choosing the nicer route over the faster one; and picking up hitchhikers. One should hold close the words of Beatus Ffungo, who said, "Traffic is people."

putting the piracy back in conspiracy

Tue, 30 May 2006 02:28:07 GMT

Johnny Brainwash's First Theorem of Conspiracy Theory can be found here.

Here's the Second Theorem:
The falsehood of the official story does not validate any alternative explanation.

In other words, just because I don't believe the official version of 9/11 doesn't mean I have to accept any other version that comes along. Conversely, just because I don't agree with your "alternative" version of events doesn't mean I must slavishly believe everything the 9/11 commission or the Bush administration says.

Which leads us to the first piece of the Johnny Brainwash Patented Wingnut Detector Home Assembly Kit:
Any article that devotes more space to attacking or ridiculing those who disagree with the author than it does to presenting reasons they should agree is most likely full of shit.

I'm not only writing about 9/11, either. The Da Vinci Code craze gives us ample opportunity to examine conspiracy theory in popular culture. And this leads us to a Third Theorem:
Those who expect a given pattern or relationship will tend to find it...
and its corollary...
Those who set out to prove a conspiracy will always find it.

This corollary is why the same movement that ranted about black helicopters and the New World Order in the 90's segued so easily into the 9/11 theories of the present decade.

the Conspiracy

Wed, 22 Mar 2006 02:10:32 GMT

Because 9/11 conspiracies have popped up on my friends page twice in the last day, here's something that I scribbled on a scrap of paper that's been sitting on my table for a month now:

I approve of conspiracy theory as an aesthetic model of our relationship to power, but not as a political model of how power is distributed.

it's not a meme, but it oughta be

Mon, 28 Mar 2005 05:05:45 GMT

Five Best Things I've Said To A Cop:

1) You guys are gonna hafta leave now.

2) We're just camping.

3) No, I'm not trying to kill anyone.

4) If you don't feed us, we're going on hunger strike.

5) I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard, of the Federation Starship Enterprise.

To my dying day, my criminal record will read "a/k/a Jean-Luc Picard".